The things they do.

I wanted to start doing more posts.. shorter posts more frequently. I really want to document my kids more often before they are grown and I forget the little things they do that you think you will remember forever. Here are a few of their quirky little habits.

Joel has been doing this for a long time but I am sure with time it will fade away. It drives me a little crazy but it is who he is and I want to remember it. It used to be more frequent, like every time he had anything to say but now its more random. He will say to whoever he is talking to "Can I ask you a question" before every single question he asks. I always tell him that he doesn't need to ask if he can ask that he should just ask the question, but he still does it. LOL! Crazy boy!

Colin loves blankets! He will take as many as he can carry and use them to turn into different things. It started out that he used to turn them into cars but now they will be just about anything from cars, to a space ship to the moon. "Come on April come get in my rocket ship". He has a wild imagination. Below is a picture of one of the first times he decided that all big blankets could potentially be cars. He even pulled Joel and Grandma in on the fun.

April's newest thing is that she loves jewellery and she calls all necklaces "my pretty". She loves to try on all sorts of different pieces and even dress up the cat with them. "Mommy Eva pretty". I am sure this is just a small preview of things to come.

Proud!

Time to check in! Been to long and too absent since my last update. Things are going pretty well. It has been a busy few months but now that Christmas is over things are slowing down a bit.

I have been so proud of my boys this week! Joel was having some attitude and listening problems but the last few days he has been making giant strides to improving that. Everyday this week he has already been dressed when I've gotten out of bed, this morning he even had his full snow suit on ready to head to the bus.. LOL! So he ate breakfast fully bundled, but it sure was nice not having to bitch and nag! He has even been putting his stuff away without being asked! I have been trying to tell him how proud i am and how much i appreciate it so that he feels appreciated as well. Colin has been making great strides in school this week too. He has started writing his own name and is on his way to knowing all his upper case letters. It may not sound like much but up until now he has had no interest in learning any of that. April got the leapfrog magnetic alphabet for Christmas and he has been playing around with it and learning that way. He can even identify his last name now!

I wanted to come one here and have a positive post for once. Its nice to look back and see a little bit of positivity and remember the good stuff :)

The Post I Never Knew How to Write.

This entry has been a very long time coming. Years upon years this thought has been going in an out of my mind, like a strong wind that comes and goes. I have always past it up and tried to write it off, trying to come up with any excuse to talk away what I have always felt. I kept thinking that certain things would fix it, like if I just find the perfect man, get married, have a baby, get more money, get a dog, get a cat, a bigger house, nice clothes, maybe if I have another cup of coffee, or maybe i just need some more sleep, something, something has got to take this feeling away. But inevitably nothing has. It blows in an out depending upon the day, and I have never wanted to actually admit it to myself, and most definitely not to anyone else, but I think I am depressed. Today is one of my bad days, where I wake up and I just don't feel like doing anything, I get out of bed because I have to. I have to get the kids fed and dressed, get Joel off to school, but I feel overwhelmingly sad, overwhelmingly irritable, and kind of empty. I make it through the days, which feel unbearably long, and nothing can shake me of this funk. I have often tried to pass it up as boredom, but I don't want to do anything. There isn't a thing that sounds like it will be enjoyable. Then I have my good days, where I feel great, I get lots done, I enjoy playing with the kids and life feels great, and I realize why it is worth living. I keep thinking this feeling will go away but it doesn't, and I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go from here or what to do. I am sick of feeling like this and being at the mercy of my emotions, but I don't want to medicate myself either. I am at the point though where I don't know what else to do. I guess that is why it has taken me so long to admit this because I feel like the world is over medicated. If you are reading this and have dealt with depression before I would really appreciate a response to tell me about your experience. Today I just feel hopeless.

Blue

I am sitting here right now feeling a little defeated. Today has been a very draining day. April is sick and has been very needy and clingy. She isn't sleeping well and when she is awake all she seems to do is cry. She won't eat. Now it looks like Colin is also getting sick. Joy of all joys. Sometimes being a parent can be very challenging. To top it off, Nathan and I found out about some not so wonderful family drama today. I just find it so hurtful to know there are certain people in my life that feel the need to talk about me behind my back for not weeks, not months, but years, and then put on a happy smiling face when they are around me. I know I am certainly far from perfect but I just feel like if there is something that I am doing that you don't like or that hurts you in some way I wish people would just let me know. I don't know. I am feeling extremely drained today, and I am on the verge of tears. It could be that I am getting sick too, and that I am a little over tired. Hoping I will feel better tomorrow. Really hoping this bug passes me by.

Kids say the Darndest Things

I was laying in bed with Colin last night before he went to sleep and he says to me.
Colin: Mommy I wish we could get a pet.
Me: What kind of pet would you like?
Colin: a cat
Me: Daddy doesn't like cats so I don't think we will get a cat
Colin: Well maybe if Daddy dies then we can get a cat.

School Days

Here we are again at the "start" of another school year! Crazy! Well technically it is 15 days into the school year but pretty darn close. Joel boarded the big school bus on September 1st bound for a new world! He is loving it! I had no doubt he would love it. And surprisingly I am enjoying it too. I cried the first day he went and felt a little lost, but we are getting into a new routine now and it is definitely easier with 1 gone. I miss him though and I hate that I don't really know what is going on. His school isn't over informative and it can make me a bit uneasy. I would rather be bombarded by information then feel like I know nothing of what is happening.

Colin started playschool on Monday as well. It feels like yesterday that Joel started playschool and now Colin is there. Its almost surreal how fast these kids are growing up. One minute they can't get enough playtime with me and the next they won't want anything to do with me. Its hard not to take the moments for granted that they are vying for my attention. I am really trying hard to stop what I am so "busy" doing to get down to their level while they want me to. Joel is already at the point where he would much rather have a friend over than play with old mom but he still does want my attention at times. Colin has quite a few kids in his class that he knows so that is nice. There is also another Colin in his class which I find hard to believe. Its not a very common name. I think there were about 25 Colin's born in 2006 in all of Alberta.

Adventures in the Big Blue House

Howdy everybody.
Hope everyone is doing swimmingly on this particular Thursday in July. Whats new at our place this week? Well I am glad you asked :) I am currently learning to crochet and am really enjoying it. My Nana gave me all of her old crochet stuff, so I have being going crazy learning all the different techniques. I even finished a hat with ear flaps and a flower this morning. I will take some pictures of April wearing it and try to remember to post them later. I am pretty proud of myself! Nathan has been calling me an old lady though with all my elderly hobbies of baking and crocheting. Once I have mastered this I think I am going to learn to knit too.

In other news I have been teaching Joel to read. Well working with him anyways. His best friend, whom he met in kindergarten, knows how to read so he has been really wanting to learn. He gets pretty frustrated though and doesn't want to sound anything out. He just thinks he should be able to look at the word and try to guess what it is. Then he goes and pouts when he can't figure it out. Thank goodness grade one is only a month away.. I am not a very good teacher.

I have also been working with Colin to try and eliminate is terrible violent habit of hurting people when he doesn't get what he wants or is frustrated with someone. I don't like spanking my kids but it seems to be the only way through to this boy of mine! He is definitely a stubborn kid. He is the sweetest funniest kid when he wants to be but watch out when he is in a bad mood. I guess that can be said about us all. I hope we can get this corrected before he goes to playschool is September though.

April has been walking around all over the place lately. She really doesn't crawl much at all at home anymore. I will post some video later of that too.