Keeping Up with The Jones

I thought I would write a post that isn't entirely about the baby. I feel like that sometimes consumes my mind and I want to visit some place else for a few minutes. Visit another place that has been weighing heavy on my heart lately.

The title kind of states where I am at. I am sure everyone has heard the term " Trying to Keep up with the Jones". Well I can definitely say that I am guilty of living my life there from time to time. Who doesn't want to have the nice things, and the nice house, and all the newest technologies. I know that I do. It makes me feel like I'm somebody. That I am better than those that don't have those fancy things. I can also tell you that I HATE this place. I hate the constant feeling of competition. The constant struggle to try and get to that place, and I hate the feeling that the material things in your life somehow dictate who I am as a person.

In the last couple months, Nathan and I have been struggling a bit with finances. Its not easy making it on one salary. It is something we both feel is important to us. That is, to have me stay at home with our kids and raise them and instill in them the things we believe are most important. We were driving this afternoon to go visit his mom, who is in the hospital with some gull bladder issues. Anyways, as we were driving I was trying to figure out our finances in my head. We want to work at being debt free, but at the same time I was like well how will I buy this and afford that and do this if we are putting all of our efforts towards paying down our debt. At that moment it dawned on me that I don't want to be dictated by things anymore. Our new baby doesn't need the fanciest clothes, or the newest piece of equipment to get by. They don't care. They don't know. I don't want our boys to grow up materialistic. I can already see it in Joel. He's a normal 4 year old that doesn't have any sense of what things cost and he wants to have the new toys and the coolest piece of techno crap. I don't want that for him. What do these things really matter anyways. When I die I am not going to wish I had this or that, I will be thinking about the time I spent with those I love and the difference I made in this world.

Wow this is a rambly post. I am no writer but I just wanted to get that off my chest. All in all I want to say that I am going to try this year to work at being a better me and not define it by the materialism that has become our world. I am blessed to have the things I do, and I want to appreciate those and not worry about whether my house is decorated beautifully or not. Who really cares anyways when all is said and done.